I wanted to do something funny, lets say put the dumbest quotes by Steve Ballmer (Microsoft Head) and the funniest quotes by Linus Torvalds (Linux Creator) so all of you get a good laugh. Let’s start with:

The quotes by Steve Ballmer:

  • "Google’s not a real company. It’s a house of cards."
  • "There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance."
  • "I don’t know what a monopoly is until somebody tells me."
  • "I like to tell people that all of our products and business will go through three phases. There’s vision, patience, and execution."
  • "I think it would be absolutely reckless and irresponsible for anyone to try and break up Microsoft."
  • "Linux is a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to everything it touches."
  • "My children - in many dimensions they’re as poorly behaved as many other children, but at least on this dimension I’ve got my kids brainwashed: You don’t use Google, and you don’t use an iPod."
  • "We don’t have a monopoly. We have market share. There’s a difference."

As you can see lots of them are dumb, some never came true, and some are lies, anyways they give you a good laugh.

Now lets see the quotes from Linus Torvalds:

  •  "I’m doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won’t be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones."
  • "An infinite number of monkeys typing into GNU emacs would never make a good program."
  • "Some people have told me they don’t think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They’d be a lot more careful about what they say if they had."
  • "Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;)"
  • "…the Linux philosophy is ‘laugh in the face of danger’. Oops. Wrong one. ‘Do it yourself’. That’s it."
  • "See, you not only have to be a good coder to create a system like Linux, you have to be a sneaky bastard too ;-)"
  • When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at you blankly and say ‘Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*’.
  • "In short: just say NO TO DRUGS, and maybe you won’t end up like the Hurd people."
  • "Really, I’m not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect."
  • "Modern PCs are horrible. ACPI is a complete design disaster in every way. But we’re kind of stuck with it. If any Intel people are listening to this and you had anything to do with ACPI, shoot yourself now, before you reproduce."
  • "There are literally several levels of SCO being wrong. And even if we were to live in that alternate universe where SCO would be right, they’d still be wrong."
  • "’Regression testing’? What’s that? If it compiles, it is good, if it boots up it is perfect."
  • "A lot of people still like Solaris, but I’m in active competition with them, and so I hope they die."
  • "I claim that Mach people (and apparently FreeBSD) are incompetent idiots."
  • "So the whole ‘We have a list and we’re not telling you’ should tell you something. Don’t you think that if Microsoft actually had some really foolproof patent, they’d just tell us and go, ‘nyaah, nyaah, nyaah!’?"
So as you might see, Linus Torvalds attack other systems or companies sometimes, but still is funny. In conclusion, Linus Torvalds win, with the better quotes, Steve Ballmer wins with the dumbest quotes. As you might have noticed it is Sunday, I have nothing to do, so please, understand that I’m bored, I had to do something to entertain myself, as well as you guys. Thanks for reading as always. I did enjoyed searching and merging the quotes together. So I hope you enjoyed as well.